The Vietnamese Engagement Ceremony (Đám Hỏi) is a celebration that marks the acceptance of Ryan into the Van family. Traditionally, the groom’s family walks in a procession bearing gifts on trays (Mâm Quả). Upon arrival at the bride’s home, which is richly decorated in red & yellow to announce the engagement, the groom’s family and friends are formally invited into the bride’s home. The gift trays are handed from the groomsmen to the bridesmaids and then opened and placed on the alter. We chose to skip the procession aspect of the ceremony to minimize travel requirements for Ryan’s family & friends.

The ceremony begins by paying respect to Linh’s family ancestors. Her parents light the dragon and phoenix candles and incense on the ancestral alter, inviting their ancestors home to witness and bless the couple’s engagement. Homage is paid to the Van family ancestors by the Linh’s parents, Ryan and Linh. Next is the tea ceremony wherein the family members on both sides are introduced one-by-one (from oldest to youngest) as the Ryan & Linh offer tea to their elders. Lucky money is often gifted to the newly engaged couple as good luck and fortune for their upcoming marriage.

From this point forward, the Ryan is considered part of the Van family and vice versa.